Full Circle

We have roots like memories that run deep though the land

Connecting guayaba trees the fragrant fruit that my mom would place in the kitchen window on a warm summer day

The breeze would fill the house with a smell pungent and sweet until she would put it back in the freezer til the next time

I would not know- what it meant to crave the smell of earth the scent of ripe sweet guayaba, hold dear something that had made the trip from the interior of the republic to our home- not until later

In the meantime I made faces at the lentils they ate with sliced banana
the white cheese with quince
Bolillo toasted on the comal with butter and dipped into thick chocolate
the Chocos at the corner and fresh squeezed orange juice I began to crave

Not understand truly all the stories I heard the tall tales that seemed larger than life magical realism, the western notion to explain enchantment

my western mind seeping into my families collective memory but there are places still a place called home that stands to show me, life really was that way

What was lost to me on the visits back when I was younger is keeping me from sleeping tonight, I can't wait to take it all in

The older I get the more I understand the Mexico that my family came from, has a name, a people, a face

It is like going to the old country in a state that never went away or got lost in time, finding my way back, with three generations still alive and connected that began as far back as the Great Great Grandparents on my Mothers side

Going to Aguascalientes to join my Abuelita and my Mami

I will be Lore the great granddaughter of Dolores y Luis, Lore the granddaughter of Amparo y Jesus, the daughter of Laurita, the goddaughter of Chachita...

Take it all in and hopefully return one day with a daughter of my own